The JJ Abrams Guide to Storytelling

Having watched all 6 seasons of LOST, but not a single episode of Fringe, and feeling like the Star Trek reboot was manipulative and predictable, here's what I've noticed about J.J. Abrams productions.

1. Start with A Pregnant Lady in Danger!

As seen on Lost many times:

Claire - kidnapped

 "My BA-BY!"

"Your BA-BY!"

Sun - pregnant women mysteriously die

 "What happens to pregnant women on this island?!?"

"THEY DIE"

Ben Linus's Mom - actually dies

 "So, your dad tells me that you killed your mom. . ."

As not seen in Fringe:

Episode 2:  Lady dies after giving birth to a kid that ages super fast.

Applied to Star Trek:

Kirk's Mom - saved from an exploding starship


2. Add Some Daddy Issues

As seen on Lost many times:

Jack - keeps seeing his dead drunk of a father who he can't live up to.

"Boo! I'm not dead. I'm 'Zombie Dad'!"

Locke - his dad is a con-man who pushed him out of a window and stole his kidney.  And then Locke ends up letting Sawyer kill him.

"I'm so glad I found you!"

"No, I'm sooo glad I found YOU!"

Kate - She killed her dad!

"Mmmmm, crispy"

Ben Linus - He killed his dad!

"Happy Birthday!"

Claire - her dad knocked up her mother and then left them

"Did I mention that I'm a womanizer too?"

*Bonus: Aaron (Claire's son) - his dad knocked up his mother and then left them.

As not seen on Fringe: 

Episode 1. Dr. Bishop's estranged son is needed for something

Applied to Star Trek:

Kirk's dad saves a lot of people as he dies, so Kirk grows up not knowing him and not being able to live up to him.

Spock's dad married a human, making Spock an outcast from birth.

 "I used to be a teen idol, now I'm playing old ladies.  I'm old, and so are my fans!  Oh well, at least I'm not in jail *cough*Lindsey*cough*"

3. Spice Things Up with a Cheesy Love Triangle

As seen on Lost many times:

Jack-Kate-Sawyer

"I'm needy."

"I'm horny!"

"I'm a slut!"

Jack-Juliet-Ben

 "I'm needy."

 "I'm emotionally unavailable."

"I'm creepy!"

Juliet-Jack-Sawyer

"I'm needy."

"I'm horny!"

"I'm a slut."

Jin-Sun-Michael

"I'm controlling."

"I'm submissive."

"I'm just trying not to get killed! And I'm a little bit horny."

Boone-Shannon-Sayid

"I'm creepy."

"I'm a slut."

"I'm creepy, and a little bit horny."

Hurley-Libby-Food

 "I'm crazy!"

"I'm hungry!"

"HELP!"

As not seen on Fringe:

Season 2, Episode 6. yadda, yadda, yadda

Applied to Star Trek:

Kirk-Spock-Uhura, because who cares about cannon or tradition.

 "Didn't you know that hot girls choose nerds over jocks?"

4. And Finish with some B.S. Time Travel

As seen on Lost many times:

There was a time displacement that interfered with radio communications

"I'd explain more, but I'd just come off as a whiney space cadet."

Overzealous use of flashbacks, flashforwards, and flash-sideways.

"You got us! We admit it. We were just f*cking with you!"

Some of the losties get teleported back to the 1970's when Desmond turns the failsafe.

But first they have to bounce around in time a bit.

"Does any of this make any sense to you?"

"No."

"Am I gonna die?"

"Yes"

Then, only some of the Oceanic 6 get teleported back to the 70's with them.

"Uhhh, where'd everybody go?"

And finally they all get teleported back to the 'present' when the nuclear bomb detonates.

 "If I were pregnant right now, this would be an awesome scene!"

As not seen on Fringe:

Season 2, Episode 17.  Robocop guest stars to do something with time travel.


Applied to Star Trek:

The Romulans travel through time to .... bah, who cares.

Interesting 2 Motorcycle/ 1 Car Concept

http://www.yankodesign.com/2010/05/20/two-motorcycles-become-one-car/

This looks like it has a place in the next summer sci-fi movie. But It doesn't look very practical right now. You need to make the transformation quicker and easier.

OMG, I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS

pause, repeat.

Nature is cool, and a bit dangerous. This pool puts on quite a show with the aid of a hailstorm. Things really get good around the 1:20 mark. But you might want to turn down the volume as the people in the video are dumbstruck and let you know it, repeatedly.

Turns out that walking on water is not that special

There is a well known phenomena to all children who grow up next to a lake or a river. If you throw a flat rock fast enough with a little bit of spin, you can make it skip off the surface of the water several times before it eventually sinks.



This takes advantage of several laws of physics. Newton's third law of motion states that "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." So if you were to punch a wall, your hand would hurt because not only are you delivering a force to the wall, but the wall also applies a force to your hand. This force is called the "Normal Force" in physics jargon because it is directed perpendicular to the surface of contact.

Usually water does not provide a very large 'normal force' because its particles can easily move around. If you were to lay the rock gently on the water surface, the particles have plenty of time to move out of the way and the rock sinks.

But if the rock hits the water with more speed, the normal force will increase. When an object hits a solid surface, like a wall, the normal force is quite large due to the law of conservation of momentum which states that the change of momentum is equal to the impulse.

But because water can move out of the way, it is more important to consider Archimedes' Principle.  Without going into too much detail, the amount of water displaced by the object is proportional to how much of a buoyant force is created.  When high divers hit the water, they try to reduce their cross sectional area to reduce the splash.  This also reduces the amount of force they feel on impact.  But if you've ever done a 'belly flop' into the pool you know that you receive a much bigger force from the water, i.e. IT HURTS!



Essentially, the bigger the area of the object, the more water that is displaced, and the object will get a larger upward force from the collision.  So, with a big enough area, moving at a fast enough speed, the force from the displaced water can overcome the weight of the object, making it bounce back up.

The basilisk lizard has evolved a neat use of this.  It has relatively large flat feet and can run very fast.

These are the perfect attributes needed to be able to run on water. And because of that, it is sometimes called the "Jesus Lizard".




And really, it was only a matter of time until humans were able to do this too!



So a new type of water-repellent shoe allows these guys to create enough displacement of water without impeding their ability to run. But there was another subtle bit of physics hidden in that video.

The runners do not go directly at the water. Instead, they take a curved path. This takes advantage of yet another well known physics phenomena, surface tension.

The water molecules are attracted to each other because they have a polar geometry.  That just means that one side of the water molecule is a little bit positive, and the other side is more negative, even though the molecule itself is neutral.

So they are attracted to each other like the way a statically charged balloon will stick to your head, or the wall. Or a cat!




But while the molecules in the middle of the water are pulled in all directions, the molecules at the surface only have a net force towards the center.

This compresses the molecules at the surface, giving the water a slightly more dense 'skin'.  It also provides some nice art inspiration.

By running in a curve, these guys are vectoring their force so that it is directed more against the surface. This is why when you try to skip a stone, you throw it parallel to the surface of the water, not straight at it.

So if you want to get the maximum reaction force from the water, you would need to direct your vector even more horizontally than pictured above.  Running in a curve allows you to do that without changing the angle of your foot, sacrificing surface are.

In conclusion, maybe Jesus walking on water wasn't really a miracle.  Maybe Jesus was just really good at physics!

And wearing wooden shoes...

UPDATE: Nevermind, the video of the guys running on water was just a viral marketing scheme. You can see the platform move at 0:48. But at least we still have the lizard!
Oh well, maybe Jesus was just a viral marketing scheme too...

Thanks to the diggers for getting the evidence.

In penance, here's some real (kite assisted) walking on water.

Inertia, it's a B*tch!

So here's a good example of how rotational kinetic energy can be transformed into linear kinetic energy. Also notice how straight he flies once he exits the merry-go-round. Also note his nice parabolic trajectory.

Physics can be fun! (And nearly fatal!)